Thoughts On Being The Mean Mom

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“Mom, why are you talking mean to me?” Branden says to me from time to time.

“Because you aren’t listening, and I need to keep repeating myself,” is my typical response.


This is a word that I hoped would never come out of my little man’s mouth in reference to me, but it has happened.

He doesn't look like he thinks I'm mean here, huh?

He doesn’t look like he thinks I’m mean here, huh?

It’s inevitable, and I am certain you ALL have been there before. So why does it sting so much? I truly madly, deeply believe it’s because we know that we are doing our best to make the right choices, but sometimes we quickly get upset and let our negative emotions shine through – and our kids pick up on it. Deep down we know that everyone says things they don’t mean, especially a child who doesn’t know how to fully express themselves yet.

I wish I could say that I was happy 100% of the time, but no one is. And our kids aren’t always angels that make us happy, and we get mad. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t get quickly irritated some days. We all know that parenting requires patience, but most days that allotment of patience gets spent mighty quickly.

So what is my quick solution for when you’re being called “mean” by your child?


There’s not a solution.

You must simply take a step back, a deep breath, and regain your poise. Sometimes we need to be mean in order to get our point across. Our kids need to know who the boss is, and if that results in them thinking we are mean for a day, then so be it. It will be over, eventually. And always, ALWAYS remember that you are NOT ALONE!

Looking for some Mama encouragement this week? We have all been there and had “those moments” that make us look at ourselves differently. But it’s what we learn, right? Check out our motherhood category where we have been tackling topics such as not missing out this summer and getting into a bikini – Mama moments that have changed us, and more!

Fashionably Yours,



  1. I love the quote “I am not your friend I am your mother” Sometimes we just have to get mean right? I think that sometimes it’s okay to let our kids see us get upset or mad. Just as long as it’s not all the time! I am a disciplinarian and so my kids don’t call me mean they call me “strict” but I do also have a fun side that they see so it all balances out.

  2. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says:

    My little one has his moments where he does not listen at all and I have to raise my voice to get his attention. Sure, I feel bad, but usually it;s the only way.

  3. I’m a mean mom too, don’t worry, it’s all okay. I’ve found that mean moms are loved moms.

  4. I’m a total mean mom when I need to be. Its all good 🙂 They need a mom first and then later when they’re older you can be their friend.

  5. It is so true that we are their parents not their friends. That was something my mom reminded me of a lot growing up. Now that I am an adult I appreciate all she did raising me and she is my best friend. Not every day is easy but we have to remember one day they will be out on their own and we need to make sure they will be ready for it.

  6. Now that my kids are a little older, they are pretty comfortable with the rules and expectations. Being consistent means they aren’t surprised when I say no. It doesn’t mean they don’t ask and gripe when they don’t get what they want, but it helps that they knew it was coming!

  7. With five kids I’ve definitely heard them each (well minus my 2 yr old but I’m sure it is coming) call me that. The one I really hate is you don’t love me or I don’t love you. Those are the ones that slice ya to the core, you know they don’t mean it and it normally happens at 8 or older when you’ve taken something away or grounded them. I’ve heard it when I wouldn’t allow my pre-teen to go to a party I knew would have alcohol at even if she didn’t. Another when I took the DS from the younger one and it was the end of the world, instead he learned he loved a series of books he didn’t want to try reading, etc. They or you will each learn a lesson when you come down on them when needed, otherwise mom is extremely stressful always trying to be the nice mom when she knows sometimes it takes being a mean mom to teach her young ones. Nice post, try either counting or stepping outside if you get too angry.

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