Thoughts on Quieting My Mind

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Things have been busy and a bit overwhelming lately, I’ll be honest. As you guys know, in August, Chris was away for a full month of Army training out of New York, which let me alone with the kiddos and we’ve been pretty much moving on a hamster wheel ever since. Blake turned one, then we took a fun trip to Myrtle Beach in September as a way to re-connect after thirty days apart, then Branden started school and turned 9 (gasp!), and then after just a couple weeks of sorta getting a routine going, we took a very magical trip to Disney World. It’s been a wild ride that I’m very thankful for, but I’m also a creature of habit and being out of whack with our routine has made me a little bit nutty.


So now, here I am, a bit flustered. And I’m unable to quiet my mind.

And the sad thing? This is the first time in a long while that I sat down to really write from a cathartic type place, doing it because I love it so much, no because I’m being paid to do it. Yes. There. I said it. I started blogging for two reasons: because I love to write and wanted to make a business out of doing something I love. Lately, it’s gotten to be more business than love and I need to get back to that.

I feel like we got home from Disney or even a couple weeks before that, and my sole focus has been on getting sponsored posts done as well as all of my freelancing writing (if you’re new here, I write for SWAAY, Reader’s Digest, Romper, Ravishly, Mommy Nearest, Working Mother and so many more), that my focus hasn’t really been on myself.


It’s a lot to take on everyday with two small children at home, but I do it all because I truly love it and it’s something I’ve built for myself so I can be home with my family and incorporate them into my work. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t get stressful or overwhelming at times. The blogging community as a whole tends to make what we do look easy and while we’re all creating content we love – it’s a lot of work. Like HUGE amounts of work.

Beyond that, Chris was laid off in August (yes, he got the call while he was away at training, not cool). He was immediately hired by the company that took over his and started back to work as soon as we got home from Disney, so the six weeks in between brought on an awful lot of “togetherness” between us. I love him dearly, but in order to get everything done each day, I have a very specific routine with Blake and it’s been hard sticking with it while he’s been home. So now I’m adjusting all over again. And I’m certain he’s looking forward to having a break from me, too. I love kissing him when he walks in the door after being gone all day – but I need some time to miss him.

And the struggle has gotten real to get anything done with little miss Blake following me around. I’m trying to cherish these moments, but it’s hard when you have a mountain of work eat day looming over you waiting to get done. She’s into everything and gets so mad if I don’t give her my full attention and I’m always flustered, trying to help her stay occupied without it being Netflix that we turn to all day long. (If anyone has any suggestions for toys that would keep a 14-month-old occupied, I’m all ears!)

Then of course, there’s the want to get out of the city. We’re waiting on Chris to be cut some new orders for the training that he did in August and then we’ll be looking into some places outside the city to relocate to. We’re ready for wide open spaces and a dog haha.

I hope this doesn’t come off as complaining, I just want to make sure that you all know that I’m human and that my life gets messy from time to time, too. Blogging has a way of curating our life and trying to make things always look perfect and that’s just not reality. Don’t lose sight of that. Some days I’m isolated from the world and my only window to what’s going on is my computer and some days I’m running around the city and sweating my ass off trying to get the stroller up and down those damn subway steps. Everyday is different and I’m always trying to roll with the punches.

What’s going on in your life?

Fashionably Yours,

Allison

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